Bot Status

Buff Queue:
0 buffs
Current Latency:
0.57 secs

Frequently Asked Question (some not so frequently)

What's this all about?

This is a BuffBot for The Kingdom of Loathing, a very nice browser game.

What's a BuffBot?

A BuffBot is a bot that provides buffs. In this case, for free.

If you don't know what Buffs are, play some KoL before you read on :)

What's with the MP?

Granted, this bot works a little different than your average BuffBot. I never liked the concept of being able to use each buff only once a day. Why should I be able to waste a lot of the bot's MP on buffs I don't even need, but not be able to request the same buff twice, especially when it failed the first time?

However, buffs equal MP, and MP is not unlimited :)

So in order to give everyone a chance to use the bot within reasonable limits, this bot grants each player a certain amount of MP one can waste every day. How you use that MP, that's up to you. If you want to have 400 turns of The Ode to Booze, fine by me :) Just select how many turns you want of which buff, as long as you have enough MP left, you're good.

Plus, you're only "paying" what you're getting. If a buff fails, for whatever reason (Ronin, in-a-fight, etc.), no MP is subtracted from your daily allowance.

So how do I get more MP?

I'm glad you asked :) Since among all equals, some are more equal than others, the bot's friends get VIP status. The higher your VIP status is, the more MP you get and the faster your buffs are processed if the queue fills up.

Basically, there are two ways to get a better ranking:

  • Join my clan, The Clan of Meat and Loathing.

    Every clan member gets a basic VIP level.

  • Be gracious.

    The Top 11 donators get additional VIP status according to their ranking. (That's ridiculous. It's not even funny.)

    Every player who donated a grand total of a million meat or more gets additional VIP status.

    Every player who donated any amount within the last 30 days gets yet another VIP point. Also, each donation gets a warm and fuzzy Thank You :)

    (No, this bot is not about making Meat. The meat and items that are donated are solely used for improving the bot. There is still some stuff out there I could use to make the bot even more effective. Most of these items are old and expensive. Also, there are plans to make the whole thing more future proof (without going into detail for now), which will require quite some meat as well. So even if your donation is not being invested right now, it's being saved for some better days.)

    Don't worry about the sum you're donating, every bit helps. And if you've got some items to spare, those count towards your donation balance too (based on the current mall price at the time of donation). Just send them to Buffy (#1889009) via KMail.

    If you need some inspiration, have a look at the list of items that Buffy uses frequently.

    However, please don't feel obligated to donate. This is a free bot, and it should be used and seen as such. Buffy will manage without robbing you of your last penny.

Please note that these rankings are calculated at rollover and thus are not effective immediately after your donation (except for the "last 30 days" rule, that one should work right away).

There might be more ways to get VIP status in the future, but for now that's all. Let me know if you have some good and fair ideas.

So how does this thing work?

Simply go to the buff page and enter your username, or select it from the list of names you last entered (stored in a cookie on your computer). Then, choose which buffs you want, either by clicking on the icon, or entering the number of turns you want for each buff. You can also select one of your previous buffs from the Favorites menu in the top right corner that just appeared by magic.

Alternatively, you can send Buffy a KMail or a private message via chat. Just write what you think the bot will understand, it'll do its best to decipher your wishes. If you stick to the following syntax, you'll most likely be fine:

<turns> <skill name>
<turns> <skill name>

For example:

300 Empathy of the Newt
300 The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith
25 The Ode to Booze

However, the following probably has the same effect:

ode 300 emp power

Just choose a unique substring of the skill's name, and optionally prefix them with the number of turns you want. If you don't, you'll get the default number for each skill, or as much as you can get with the MP you've got left. If you specify a number, it's used for each skill until the end of the line.

Pro Tip: if you add pmb! to your message, you'll get a reply with the URL to the status page, as with the web interface.

Do you need any items?

Absolutely. There are a number of items that Buffy uses more or less frequently. Especially items that boost Mysticality%, but also Jumbo Dr. Lucifers, Llama lama gongs, and some others.

To make this page even more fancy, here is a selection of such items, and how much Buffy roughly has of each of them.

4-d camera < 10
antique bottle of cough syrup < 10
black sheepskin diploma < 10
blood of the Wereseal ~310
bubbly potion ~1,800
bucket of wine ~320
cold wad ~10,000
cold-filtered water ~2,600
Ferrigno's Elixir of Power ~400
flask of baconstone juice < 10
funky dried mushroom < 10
glittery mascara ~2,700
handful of nuts and berries ~75
Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance ~3,600
hot wad ~3,700
Jumbo Dr. Lucifer ~2,200
karma shawarma < 10
llama lama gong ~160
Mae West < 10
melted Jell-o shot ~1,400
Mer-kin smartjuice < 10
milk of magnesium ~130
miniature power pill ~160
oil of slipperiness ~35
ointment of the occult ~15
philter of phorce ~610
pirate tract < 10
potion of temporary gr8ness ~340
power pill < 10
prismatic wad ~40
scroll of drastic healing ~5,400
seal-brain elixir < 10
shot of flower schnapps ~130
sleaze wad ~67,000
smoky potion ~25
spooky wad ~41,000
stench wad ~7,000
tomato juice of powerful power ~55
Trivial Avocations Card: What? ~3,800
Trivial Avocations Card: When? ~3,800
Trivial Avocations Card: Where? ~3,900
Trivial Avocations Card: Who? ~3,800
twinkly wad ~49,000
yellow paisley oyster egg < 10

If you feel there should be any items on this list that aren't, please message StuBorn (#1852283).

Everyone can see what buffs I like!!!


Everyone can send me random buffs and waste my MP!!!

That's true. But for the super-paranoid, I've implemented a password feature. If you set a password for your account (see below), the web interface can only be used after entering that password and the web interface does its best not to give out any information regarding your account either.

Please note that this feature requires Javascript to be enabled on the web interface. But you're missing out on a lot of nice stuff without Javascript anyway.

Set your own password

Just enter your desired password here (better not use your KoL password) and send the generated command via KMail or privmsg to Buffy (#1889009):

or or

The bot says I'm making too many requests

Due to childish behaviour and some complaints from annoyed veterans, I have added a rate limit. I won't go into the exact details, but you cannot buff more than X different targets per Y minutes.

"But... but... but..., what about all my multis?", you say?

Not a problem, just set a web-password for them; password-protected accounts are not subject to rate-limiting. If this is annoying you too much, drop StuBorn (#1852283) a note, I'm sure we can figure something out.

What is this crap about Ur-Kel?

Similar to the previous question, this utter crap is about some jackasses who try to ruin the game for others. There have been numerous complaints about newbies getting buffed with Ur-Kel (and just Ur-Kel). This makes those newbies not only annoying, but also very annoyed, because they get beaten up on every step of the way and don't understand why this game is so damn fucking hard.

This is not what this bot is for! So effective immediately, you can use possibly abusive buffs like Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance only on yourself. To ensure this, you have to request it either via KMail or privmsg (nothing changes there), or you have to set a web-password for yourself.

UPDATE: There is a new way to make buffs like Ur-Kel more accessible: the first time you buff yourself with an "abusable" skill (via KMail, privmsg, or by using a web-password) they get unlocked automatically. This is based on the assumption that any player that requests those buffs for himself can handle them and knows how to get rid of them.

You can also turn this feature on or off manually, in case you don't want to have those buffs publicly available after all:

Enable/Disable abusable skills on the web interface

Select whether you want abusable skills (like Ur-Kel) publicly available on the web interface (unless of course you have a password set) and send the generated command via KMail or privmsg to Buffy (#1889009):

I'm really sorry about this drastic measure, but I certainly don't want to ruin the game for beginners.

This page looks like crap

I'll just assume now that your browser doesn't support the CSS3 features I've been playing around with. Get a decent browser. Or, if your browser does support them, send me a fix for the CSS to also include your brower's -vendor-prefixes.

If you are, however, seeing the intended design, and still don't like it... meh. I don't care :P

My question wasn't answered

Buhuu. Drop StuBorn (#1852283) a message, maybe he can help out. Especially if you think the bot is malfunctioning, or eating your items/meat/brains/whatever, don't hesistate to let me know. Please keep in mind that this bot is a work in progress, and in a state that can maybe called beta :)